I feel no need...

I feel no need to look 20 anymore.
I feel no need to plump my lips,
slim my hips,
whiten my teeth,
keep my age a secret,(50)
drive a soccer mom van,
get a tan,
dress for success,
the throngs to impress....
I feel no need to nip or tuck,
to inject or suction,
to change my chin(s),
or hide my flapping wings under long sleeves.
I am fifty years old,
I have earned every damn wrinkle,
fold, curve, vein, blotch,
and freckle.
I look like a fifty year old,
and not a tight lipped squinty eyed,
nipped and tucked prune.
I am so grateful for the women in my life,
who I admire and love, my mom, my grandmother, my aunts,
my friends, and mentors...all women who have enjoyed their
fifties, and even better,
have thrived in them.
I am the benefactor of so many confident, intelligent women
who do not place there personal value in what others think of them.
How lucky am I?

4 days to do nothing...

I had a great, no make that fabulous weekend. We drove up to The Homestead in Hot Springs Va. While David had much to do about nothing (in other words, work) I had nothing to do. Yeah! So I packed water colours, magazines and my journal. I sat on my rearend for almost 4 days straight. It was FAB. I sat on this porch and watched the world go by. I saw children, parents, brides, grooms, bellmen, waitresses, all sorts of people with all sorts of jobs. And there I sat.....did I say it was Fab? I haven't spent so much time doing nothing for years. I like it. No, I love it.
Think I'll do it some more.

Trips thrill me....

We are going on a trip this weekend.
Where isn't so important, what is vital is that we have time together with out distractions. I am so glad to have an excuse to do nothing. I plan to take magazines, a book and some writing I have been meaning to do. I am so excited to be with my soul mate, to travel means the world, and together is best. A nice place to go is wonderful to.....photos to follow.
Yippee!

Tis Friday.....

I am lovin' the Friday mood in my neighborhood.
It seems that with Spring Break for the kids, all of the adults have caught the fever. Everyone seems to have taken the day off, and are out in their yards. Kids are running' around acting crazy and free...
This is what spring is all about, FUN.
The driveways are coated with a fine dusting of yellow pollen. You can wash your car, if you like, but it will do no good, until we have experienced at least one torrential down=pour. (I tried yesterday, and by the time the droplets had dried on my sporty little Fit, evidence of pollen pollution had appeared). Hostas are poking their little snouts our of the soil, the pansies are dying back, cherry trees are launching little bouquets into the air, and birds are dilirious with song.
Nature awakening.
Spectacular!

A new day.....

Yesterday was the funeral.
It was tough.
I am completely worn out today. My muscles are aching from being so tense yesterday. My neck is so sore, my head hurts, and even my back hurts. I guess this just goes along with the ride.
Anne is laid to rest in a beautiful place. Right in the middle of her small town, a place of peace, and beautiful nature. She is surrounded by very large trees, and very old headstones, some with dates to the 1700's. It is only a couple of blocks from the small home she shared with her daughters, and a few more away from her parents.
I saw friends from childhood that I only seem to see at weddings and funerals, now.
It was almost surreal.
Lots of emotion. Lots of tears. Relief for her.
Sad, today.

Dinner with Matt.....

I am so full, I could just pop.
What a wonderful meal. David is the bestest cook! He made a roast pork this evening that would command $$$$ in a restaurant. Matt came over to dine with us. Not much talking here, but lots of approving "hmmmms". We are now fat and happy, having devoured the pork, and dessert of brownies and ice cream.
Yes, life does go on....
Of course it does. And tomorrow, as I sit in the church and listen to men speak, who think they knew my friend, I will smile and rejoice because I am blessed.
I am blessed to have wonderful friends, to have a husband that is a magnificent cook, and to have a faith that tells me I will see Anne again in the future.
Perhaps we will know each other longer there than we did here, or perhaps we already have........
I am so full.

Anne......sweet thing.

Anne died yesterday.
She has had cancer for over 5 years.
She has fought like no man ever dreamed.
Anne and I are one day apart, born Leos, in 1957.
She had violet/blue eyes that rivaled Liz Taylor's.
She had a wicked laugh, especially when drinking.
She was proud of her family, friends and hometown.
We have known each other since junior high school.
I love her, she is my friend, soul-sister, drinking buddy (decades ago).
I am going to miss her terribly.
There are 5 of us who will miss her each time we are together. We have taken trip as a group for decades now. Additional women have joined us, but the original 6 knew each other from junior high and younger. We are all 50. The photo was taken at her surprise birthday party last year.
Anne was the first to become a grandmother. Baby Cole was born with defective kidneys. He lost them, and the fight began to nurse him to one year of age so that he could become eligible for a transplant. It came in the beginning of this year, his body couldn't handle it. He died. We buried him just weeks ago.
As I hugged Anne at the burial ground, she was nothing but bones. I knew time was short, and I told her I loved her. She smiled and said "I know".
Now Anne is with her grandbaby Cole. I see them in my mind's eye, sitting, playing together, happy, no pain, peaceful, content.
I could try to figure it all out, put some meaning to it all, but why.
Anne has moved on......
I believe I will see her again someday.
But right here, right now, I miss her.