12 September 2009

What I realized....

was....that I had spent my entire life
making others responsible for my happiness...
I was miserable and went
about my life blaming the
misbehaving people in my life,
for my sadness...
Eight years ago...
all that changed.
suddenly, as those towers came down..
I came face to face with my
at first, all I could do was cry...
sometimes for the thousands affected by this tragedy,
and at times, honestly... for myself
for all I was missing in life.
For the relationship that had not blossomed
and grown...
For the envy I felt toward
happy women in good relationships.
Over the next few days,
it seemed that every time I listened to radio,
or TV, I heard stories of people who were "saved"
from the catastrophe thru some strange coincidence
or "angelic intervention".
All of these people, when interviewed, spoke
about how they came to believe that God had something
"bigger" in mind for them, that they were not meant to
be in the towers, but were meant to live...
and perhaps accomplish something else.
I started to think about
exactly what I was "contributing"...
I prayed, meditated, and consulted with people
whose opinion I valued.
Someone, who has always been there for me
said...."you know, we are all responsible for our own
those words changed my life.
I woke up.
I started to work on me...
I explored new avenues...
I started to look at my happiness as a project,
one that would be on-going.
I worked toward the goal of self-responsibility,
and I started to step out on faith...
faith that if I "would simply show up at the party...
well, something will happen".
A tremendous amount of difficult things
started to happen,
but you know....
through it all,
I was happy.


  1. Great post...Just having a rainy day of blog hopping...enjoyed my visit to your blog. Hope you will stop by my new Christmas blog...just leaving a comment enters you for a great giveaway of ornaments on Oct 1st. http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com

  2. I so agree that we alone are responsible for our happiness. It has to come from within.

    Very nicely said.

  3. wow! this is beautiful! Thank you for visiting my blog and following it! I am honored to have you!

  4. Grinning very widely...BIG smiles...

  5. well well, this is all very exciting for me to read! THanks for stopping by and commenting. I dont get out much, too fun to meet new friends!
    It was life changing for me, too. Horribly, in fact.
    all the best...I gotta go check you out!
    coastal nest

  6. Very powerful and beautifully wrtiten. I agree, we are all responsible for our own happiness. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that several times a day though;)
    I have a site saved on my computer that you might be interested in called 'The Happiness Project' I've poked around there a bit and it is interesting.



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