Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
10 October 2013
My focus was "off" a bit today.....
but that hardly matters...
really.
perhaps my hands were shaking.....
too much "joe"....
perhaps, there was a chill in the air.....
naw.......hot flashes take care of that!
Actually, I think everything might have turned out just as it should.....
A dear friend sent this to me yesterday....
"She Let Go”
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let
go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the
judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions
swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within
her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly
and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She
didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She
didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She
let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her
from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the
calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal
about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her
Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in
the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her
daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the
matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind
Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t
utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no
applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree,
she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A
small smile came over her face.
A
light breeze blew through her.
And
the sun and the moon shone
forevermore.
I am sorry I do not know the author, it was not me obviously...
smiles!
Labels:
faith,
Fear,
focus,
friends,
resignation,
she let go,
Smiles,
trust
06 July 2010
Authenticity....
That's the word
that I chose
at the beginning of the year
to concentrate on in 2010.
I am still thinking....
In fact,
it has been brought home to me
on a regular basis that most
of the people I seem to interact with
(bloggers excluded)
are far from authentic.
Is it fear?
Is it meanness?
Is it ignorance?
Is it miscommunication?
Really!
I want to know.
I want to understand.
And,
if I am looking at it
in a skewed manner,
well,
I want to know that too....
Really.
Do I perceive the bloggers
I follow as being authentic
because they are?
or are they really good at
"puttin on the show"?
Is the fear factor eliminated
because they don't ever have
to meet face to face?
Or is the internet just
a place that one can be
anyone you want to be?
Here is my dilemma.....
I spent some time with a few of my
old friends recently.
It was weird.
They were fascinated by things that seemed
so foreign to them, (and me)
and they didn't seem at all like the
people I once knew.
I know there is room for growing up, but not developing
a whole new personality.
Then there is the situation
where one of my friends
came into a large amount of money.
I have seen very little of her since.
She has not simply excluded me,
she seems to be avoiding everyone.
What is that all about?
Now,
I am contemplating going to a
35 yr reunion (high school)
I want to go,
at least I think I want to......
I was first informed about this
reunion via the infamous
Facebook.
And the price for the event seemed doable.
So I said YES!
and paid my money.
Now I am watching how people are
interacting.....
and honestly,
I am a bit frightened,
bewildered,
confused,
apprehensive,
nervous,
and
seriously folks,
I don't want to be disillusioned again.
So help me out if you have some experience here.
Do you find people to be authentic?
Do you go to reunions?
Have you been disappointed by
old friends?
Does the high school clique thingy crop up at your reunions?
Finally,
Do you trust what people present to you,
and is that a vital part of liking them?
What do you think?
Now about that cat....
She must be the reason that the food in
that particular feeder
(we have many)
lasts longer.
She is a neighbors' pet
and loves to hunt by the trees out back.
smiles.
18 May 2010
Ordinary thoughts....
Several years ago...
my son suggested an writer/artist/singer
that he listened to and thought that
I would like....
He very nicely cam over,
loaded some songs
and said that I would especially like
the first one....
Honestly,
it slipped my mind.
Then,
a few months later,
I listened....
and liked.
And over the years
I have listened a bit more....
and
well, I have come to the conclusion
that I should listen more seriously to
what my son suggests.
John Legend,
his song
makes one believe that men
think....
have feelings....
mourn...
wound easily...
heal...
and
love.
smiles.
Labels:
feelings,
John Legend,
Love,
Men.,
Ordinary People,
son,
songs,
trust
09 January 2010
Certainty...
To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable,
but to be certain is to
be ridiculous.
-Chinese Proverb
I like this.
It reminds me of how far I have come on this journey of life.
I am no longer certain of everything....
in fact, I am certain of only a few things.
Which actually
makes things easier....
It has taken me a very long time
to realize that I usually do not
have all the information.
Imagine that!
Now most of you
are probably thinking....
"Well....that's pretty obvious!"
But...
to me
it wasn't...
I was pretty sure
that I knew how everyone should act,
what their job was...
and how they fit in to the
grand scheme of things.....
But....
I now know that
it isn't my responsibility,
job, mission, or goal
to know these things....
In fact I don't even know
what my purpose is most of the time.
But if I trust,
have faith,
show up,
encourage,
praise,
smile....
well, I
believe
that is
just about enough.
31 July 2009
Maybe it was the 14 and a half Diet Cokes......
Or maybe it was the 14 and a half hours in the car.....
Looking at this..
Heck, I don't know for sure....
it is all a blurrrrrrrr at this point.
But I know one thing,
I was terribly road weary....
I had driven, ridden, ate, drank, daydreamed,
pottyed, laughed, yawned, mapped,
and consumed interesting views....
We had been in the car....forever.
I had begun to get really scared,
as I had been the one who insisted that we not stay in an
ordinary place. I had insisted that we should cruise down the
Delmarva peninsula, because I had not seen it in over
20 years.
What if this place was a pit (as in arm).
What if the "Psycho-dude" met us at the door of the
quaint little inn?
What if there were bugs in the cottage we had paid
extra for......
What if we were in fact lost...
14 and a half hours of driving will do that to a person.
A storm was threatening as we drove down the 5 mile long approach
road, I was envisioning unpacking the car in a lightening riddled downpour.
The middle-aged woman who met us in the entry hall was distracted, and busy...
waiting for another couple (crazy enough to pick the same place, maybe?)
Finally, she led us around the corner to the cottage.
The rain was holding off...
We hurried to get our bags in.....
took off our shoes....
and went out onto the screened in porch.......
and this is what we saw.....
It was golden...
surreal....
other worldly...
thick as honey...
humid as a steam shower....
and
it appeared to suspend reality...
we watched from the porch for a few minutes,
and then walked to the end of the freshly made dock...
I captured as much as my tired soul could handle...
I will post more,
but it was life changing for us both...
we had trusted at one point that it would be worth
the effort.
It was..
12 July 2009
Trust....
Well, I am at a loss....
trust broken...
numb with pain....
confusion, too familiar....
why.
My expectations must be too high....
I've been told that my standards are too....
what do I do with that?
Where is the lesson in this?
How do I process?
Is there a reason to set lower standards?
Is there proof that lower expectations will bring peace?
Today I am just confused....
I think I will go open a box of L'oreal #6 and
bring the roots back to something I recognise.....
F%#&!
21 June 2009
Father....

I am so grateful for my father....
His guidance....
his honesty...
his trust...
his love...
I now realize how lucky I truly am...
Today I am having him over for dinner...
along with assorted family from both sides,
but it is he that I am the most grateful for.
Happy Father's Day!
04 June 2009
Trust.....
Trust is comprised of a myriad to experiences.....
processing those experiences forces one to think about what you really believe.
Do you believe that there is a higher power that is in charge,
if not, are you willing to believe?
What would the purpose of trust be.....
other than to bring one closer to knowing that higher power?
Trusting a human being is a tricky thing...
it forces one to make assumptions about the other person
well.....that places you in a vulnerable position.
People make mistakes....
I have made mistakes......
My thought about a higher power goes something like this...
I am a mom.
I have the power to forgive my son, anything.
Period.
If I, a flawed person, have that kind of power,
then who am I to limit the amount of power that my higher power has?
I figure that being a higher power must mean that you have ALL the
information.
Most of the big problems in my life have been caused by a misunderstanding.
Meaning.........that I didn't have all the information.
So.....if I had all the information.....it would mean that I would have no misunderstandings,
no judgement.
No sin, no blame, no preconceived notions.....
How would that be?
03 February 2009
Trust....

it is difficult to see where we are going.
Sometimes, we end up on a path that isn't what we signed up for....
It is frightening to find ourselves in a completely different setting,
with strangers, heading toward a goal that seems unclear and strange.....
My experience has been that the less I expect of the journey,
the happier I am.
When I don't know where I am going,
it is better to just trust that God and the universe do know....
and that I am being guided, led and encouraged by the people I meet along the way.
Much like driving in a blizzard....
10 years ago (or more) my mother and I flew to Boston, rented a car and drove up I-95 to
southern Maine to visit her mother. About 10 miles north of Boston it started to snow.
Before we knew it we were crawling along at 20 mph or less, following an eighteen-wheeler.
All I could see was his tail lights, and I knew that if I stopped, we would not move again for quite awhile. He led us slowly through the snow, and left the interstate at our exit. We arrived, late but safe.
There are no accidents.
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