Your childhood friend.....

That's Cheri and me at Myrtle Beach SC...

circa, 1974.

We have been best friend since we were pre schoolers..

we went to elementary, middle, and high school together...

12 years.

We played kick ball, played in the creek, swam at the local pool,

roamed the neighborhood, played tricks on our younger

siblings, watched soap operas, read her older sister's trashy

magazines, smoked our first cigarette, drank our first beer,

tried our first joint, skipped school, drove too fast,

kissed the boys, sometimes made them cry....

fought with each other, made up....

went our separate ways,

got married,

got back together,

had babies,

got busy,

had mid-life crisis's,

divorced,

remarried (me, twice)

came out (her),

cried,

laughed,

dreamed,

learned,

and now,

she has gone her own way,

again.

We talk,

I feel sick,

we laugh,

it doesn't help....

I am sometimes

sad.....

How hard it is to accept the unacceptable....

Who among us can't relate to Viola?

How many times has life given someone else,

who we see as undeserving, the better deal?

How many times have we said "NO FAIR!",

and pointed out the other person's faults?

The only thing that growing older really gives you is a little perspective.

If you are open to it,

and very lucky.

The last 24 hours have seemed particularly unfair.

Details are unimportant.

But today I am grateful that I am older and tiny bit wiser,

and know in my heart that everything will be OK.

Life goes on whether we choose to participate or not.....

If we choose to "be in the game",

we have to accept that we will not always win.

And sometimes life does seem to be unfair....

My Addiction.....

Well, I simply cannot remember where it all started......

My first sip was certainly taken for honorable reasons.

I was under the impression that it was for those of us that could not bear to consume any more calories than absolutely necessary. Those of us on "weight check" at work,.....yes there was a time back in the stone age when flight attendants, "stewartresses"as many inappropriately called us, had to hop up on the old fashioned set of scales to be weighed each month. But I digress...

Diet Coke has been my friend,

allowing me to loose weight,

down a BC powder without choking,

survive stressful situations,

glide through divorce,

persist in long afternoons on the beach,

sustain a good (or semi-good) attitude when I

found myself in the company of idiots,

act with some decorum at family functions,

and finally, it gave me a friend when it seemed I was all alone.

YES, Diet Coke has done all of that for me at one time or another,

but as with all addictions there came a time when it turned on me.

A time that I like to call,........

Hell.

Now, I must limit myself to one DC a day.

If I sneak even one additional, I am in huge trouble,

for you see, my body can no longer take what ever it is in DC that is Addictive.

My body chemistry gets all @#*%)^*&$ed up and I develop problems.

Problems that you really don't want to know the full details of, but believe me,

no one wants these problems.

I have tried other solutions.

I have gone on the wagon, so to speak, for weeks at a time...

thinking that when I returned to DC, I would be able to gently moderate my consumption

No such luck, I am sorry to report.

I've yet to find a 12 step program for DC addiction,

of course I haven't looked too far.

You see, I don't get ticketed for driving under the influence of DC.

I don't get divorced due to out of control DC drinking.

I haven't lost too many friends over my DC consumption.

(Only those radical DDP drinkers, you know who you are, and they are all flakes anyway).

Well, I just thought that this might be the 1st step in some recovery,

admitting I have a problem.....

But I am pretty sure that it is going to take a very long time to actually want to quit.

Maybe next year.....

What's the rush?.....

Heaven knows...
We are all in a rush at one time or another.
Today I do nothing, that is my rule for today.
I am tired of rushing from one activity to another.
I used to get paid to rush and wait. Now I am on my own time.
And today, just for today.....I choose to rush nowhere.
Rushing is for the young, when your thoughts tell you that your time is unlimited. This is not what my thoughts tell me these days....
They tell me to.....
Enjoy my parents as much as possible, most people my age don't have parents to enjoy..
Let my son run his own life, and maybe he will enjoy time with me....
Tresure the time with friends, as you never know how long the friendship will last....
Value your time with your siblings, tey may drive you crazy (or their spouses may) but someday they may be the only family you have....
Cherish your grandparents, I lost my only surviving grandmother this last november, I miss her like a child...
Cherish the cold weather for hot sunny weather is right around the corner....
Enjoy life as it is today, because "the times they are a changing".
Thank God.

I feel no need...

I feel no need to look 20 anymore.
I feel no need to plump my lips,
slim my hips,
whiten my teeth,
keep my age a secret,(50)
drive a soccer mom van,
get a tan,
dress for success,
the throngs to impress....
I feel no need to nip or tuck,
to inject or suction,
to change my chin(s),
or hide my flapping wings under long sleeves.
I am fifty years old,
I have earned every damn wrinkle,
fold, curve, vein, blotch,
and freckle.
I look like a fifty year old,
and not a tight lipped squinty eyed,
nipped and tucked prune.
I am so grateful for the women in my life,
who I admire and love, my mom, my grandmother, my aunts,
my friends, and mentors...all women who have enjoyed their
fifties, and even better,
have thrived in them.
I am the benefactor of so many confident, intelligent women
who do not place there personal value in what others think of them.
How lucky am I?