Emotionally exhausted...the ranting begins....

Please

forgive 

the babble...

It has been a couple of weeks

of emotional stress.

So, all I can manage is the random thoughts 

that have been running through my mind....

-Why do parents use their children to inflict revenge on their "ex"?

-Why would a family of four think that a metal trivet is an appropriate gift for a couple,

who is paying for a wedding and a reception at a country club?

-Who asks their "ex" to dance, while their current spouse is standing right next to them?

-Why do the people that do most of the work rarely get any thanks? or even acknowledgement?

-What is the point of making a wedding the battlefield of your unresolved issues?

Do people ever 

grow up?

On the other hand,

I am so proud

to know professionals

who do their job well......really, very well.

People that unselfishly go beyond what they are paid to do.

The flowers were stunning,

The photographers were patient, and extremely professional.

The minister, co-ordinators and the organist were incredible.

The event manager, wait-staff and DJ's, at the club,  all did their job 

in a timely and smooth way.

Afterward, the wait-staff helped to load the flowers into my car,

so that they could be donated to an "Adult Daycare".

They even helped load the gifts.

I am so grateful for the people I know and love that are 

genuine, kind, generous and loving.

They are the people that went out of their way this week

to help me stay sane.

They brought me gardenias for my home.

They called to make sure I was not frantic.

They waited patiently for me to return calls.

This is real friendship!

I am blessed.

Photos first.....ranting later....

FUN!

Went to a Garden Party...

this song takes me back...

Holy Cow!

it says it's from August 1985....

I was 28 years old,

which takes me to the point...

I am co-hosting

a bridal shower at the end of the month

for my step-daughter (28 yrs. old).

Because of the large number of out of town guests,

she wanted to be able to invite her future in-law family to

a shower, here in her hometown.

Makes sense to me.

Because I am just about the only person 

who lives here, I have been doing a lot things

that it would be unrealistic to leave until the week before

the wedding.

I have made dozens of decisions....

all of them will effect others...

Sometimes I get a little worried about how they will react.

It's not that I have any trouble making decisions.

I know what I like.

But, 

I do not want to "be the boss" of this occasion.

So...

whenever I feel the need to worry,

I think about the lesson Ricky Nelson sings of...

"learned my lesson well,

you see you can't please everyone,

so you gotta please yourself"

Amen, brother!

smiles

I am distracted...

By a dress...

By a day...

By plans...

By timelines....

By deadlines...

By outcomes....

By emotions...

By 

well, you know....

all the things that make up a wedding.

My step daughter (hate that term)

is getting married on May 29th.....

in our home town...

seemingly everyone....

(including the couple, the bride's mother, and most guests)

lives in another city.

So...

BTB (bride to be)

and I have been scurrying around like

busy ants...

from one appointment to another,

grabbing a cup o' joe,

a snack,

a quick bite...

always on the run,

always discussing what the next step will be....

our minds just might EXPLODE!

We are thinking too much...

out of fear of forgetting something vital.

Whew!

BTB has flown to her home for a few days...

and I am catching up on things...

like laundry,

meals,

blogs.....

smiles.

My sweetie in Shanghai....

No...

I am not foolin' around...

my sweetie,

my love of my life,

my husband,

is in 

Shanghai.

On business,

again......

4th time in less than a year.....

sick of it.....

But 

the good news is that 

I have rubbed off on him.

Whenever I go on a trip,

I keep my eyes open for 

opportunity....

beautiful opportunity....

Weddings,

more specifically.

Check out what he snapped

(snapped as the Queen does)

I couldn't be any more proud.....

smiles.

Freedom...

to tweak...

to manipulate...

to create...

to make a mistake....

That's what I love about 

not being the photographer "on-duty"

every once in a while.....

Creativity is stifled by pressure....

there is such freedom in

doing something for fun....

without expectations...

What FUN!

smiles.

I was a guest....

and that was a good thing...

I attended a very special wedding this weekend.

I was not the photographer for this event,

but a friend of mine was....

and she was working quite hard.

It seems that the family had a friend that showed up 

to shoot the wedding too.

I am not sure which side of the family,

but let's just say that this is a huge 

"faux pas". 

(Big mistake)

When hiring a photographer for an event such as 

a wedding, it is wise to read your contract carefully,

and ask if the shooter minds someone else shooting too.

Believe me, it will already be covered in the contract.

A wedding is a very emotionally charged event.

(Duh!)

and people act strangely at times

(double Duh!)

and well.....the very last thing you want to do

is pay someone to capture the moment, and

then allow "Uncle Festus" to 

get in their way

(triple-dog Duh!)

So...

there it is...a little bit of advice for all you 

Baby Boomers, like me who have children,

who might just be getting married soon....

don't invest your money, and then sabotage

the whole process.

smiles...

Tis the season.....

For weddings....

you may find that you are attending 

many social functions this time of year.

Graduation....

birthdays....

Showers.....

all sorts of events that require

a certain amount of social grace.

Most of these events 

have been planned months in advance.

But....

the weddings that 

you  attend may have been planned...

in some cases...

for years.

No kidding.

You may think I exaggerate...

but if you have never planned 

a wedding, say for 250 guests....

well, you may have no idea.

When my studio was in full swing,

we booked October

(yes, the Halloween month!)

at least a year in advance.

And I mean BOOKED.

and we had to 

turn girls down....

and refer them to other photographers.

The church,

the reception site,

the caterer,

the cake maker,

the florist, 

and the photographer,

all of them should be booked,

contract signed, 

and deposit made,

at least a year in advance.

Especially 

if you plan to marry in a month

that is popular for your region.

Yes, 

it is a regional thing,

the weather in my fair city is lovely in October,

so much nicer than in June,

which by the way is sweltering......

So, the dates and places go quickly.

I guess my whole point here

is this....

If you find yourself at one of these 

large wedding events, 

make sure to find your way to the 

host and hostess

before you leave.

Thank them....

for the invitation, certainly...

but also for all the hard work,

that obviously, went into the event,

and tell them how lovely it all was....

so that they may find a moment 

of peace in the chaos.

smiles....

What is your time worth?

OK,

I know this is a touchy subject....

All of us, who own a business

are subject to this question though....

What is your time worth?

Mostly...

we hear it expressed like this

"How much do you charge?"

and then we 

freeze......

Lingering doubt 

overwhelms us.....

negative feedback from crazy former clients

springs back to life in our 

frontal lobe....

we don't want to say....

But 

if we intend to become successful business

owners......

(IF is such a big word, don't you think?)

Then we must have an answer.

Here is something I have done in

the past to help me answer

 this question.

I went to seminars

conducted by "successful" people 

in my industry. 

And listened to

 what they did to 

develop their style

 and reputation.

And by,

Successful,

I don't mean just 

financially.

I mean that I have 

looked at their 

websites.....

seen their portfolios....

read client feedback....

and then,

made my own determination

as to their 

success.

Did I admire their style

(remember that I am a photographer)

Do I like the way that they promoted 

themselves. In other words,

were they boastful or did their 

personal assessment have to do with

achieving high ideals?

Success is a subtle thing.

In my mind,

money has very little to do with it.

Here is an example.

Over five years ago,

I was approached about photographing a wedding.

The bride had seen my work and wondered if 

I was willing to negotiate on price.

I wasn't over-booked, so I was willing to entertain

the notion.....and the result was a lasting friendship.

Not only did I receive my base pay,

but this lovely lady is now in the same industry

(photography)

 and allows me to mentor her.

It has been a win-win situation.

What am I worth?

Well, I know that my previous coverage of 

weddings says that I can record the moment 

 you want to see.

It says that I try very hard

 to stay out of the way....

 not "stage" your moment.

It says that I will make it my goal to

record people's reactions,

 smiles,

surprise,

 tears

 and pride 

with the 

utmost of respect.

Now 

what that is worth to 

someone 

depends....

smiles.

For more on this subject,

check out this article that 

instigated this train of thought.

HERE

The cake lookers...

That's how I saw these girls....

as a moment in time 

not unlike the 

"Potato Eaters" by 

Van Gogh.

"The Potato Eaters"

were a changing moment for Van Gogh.

He had the desire to transform 

the way he documented life.

He did just that.

He changed the way we too look
at Sunflowers,
Haystacks,
and
Starry Nights....
He had no idea that he was changing
 the world of art.
He died having sold very few paintings.
He died depressed, lonely,
confused, sick and mentally ill.
But his work
changed us all.

This photograph was taken many
years ago.
Perhaps, it may not
seem like a pivotal moment to
you or even, to the bride.
But it was for me.

It was the moment,
the very wedding,
that I saw what
B/W photography could
bring to a wedding.

Rather than concentrating on the
colors of the
dresses, cake, flowers,
etc...
You are moved to look
at the expressions on the participants
faces.
You are more inclined to
observe the detail on the cake,
the texture, and even the weight,
 of the fabric in the dresses.

The whole scene is transformed.

And
I
loved
it.
smiles.

Five years ago...

friends of mine were married....

a lovely wedding 

in a garden,

with friends,

family,

and 

children.

It was wonderful,

and 

I in no way 

was responsible for the photos 

on this day.

Another "shooter" was 

in charge of the 

documentation...

so,

whatever I walked away 

with 

was mine.

I love this photo.

It exemplifies

them...

private,

intelligent,

sweet,

and 

so in love...

They have a beautiful child now.

She is more beautiful than

any other little girl

(my opinion, of course)

and 

I am so proud of the 

path that they both take...

it entails,

honesty,

integrity,

hard work,

spiritual growth,

and

love....

smiles.

Shadows....

This is how memories work for me....

they look like shadows...

they are never detailed and clear.

Sometimes my memories can be triggered by

smell, 

or a song,

or a child's squeal,

or a breeze....

But mostly my memories

 are like a vague shadow that has 

highlights all over it....

that is how

I remember this wedding.

The lights were a photographer's 

nightmare.

DARK!

It was great for ambiance,

but absolutely 

horrendous for 

capturing images.

Especially as this was a time

 when I was still using film.

Even high-speed film

struggles with low light situations.

Well,

I captured many moments

 that were much better than this one, 

but I like this one,

because of the way the 

overhead light bounces off her dress...

and veil...

and his close cropped hair...

splendid memories.

What do your memories look like?

Are they mostly shadows like mine?

Or, are they refined bits of crystal clarity?

Tell me, please.....smiles.

Making me laugh....

I look back at wedding photos....

and sometimes,

I just bust out laughing....

Mostly,

 for the things that I overlooked when 

I was snapping away....

Like here,

I didn't notice that the groom had 

an extraordinary amount of 

RED lip gloss all over his 

mouth....

(glad it matched her's)

And I hadn't noticed

 that my sweetie

(the one that should be buying me pearls in Shanghai right now)

is in the photo, 

right over the grooms shoulder.

Oh well,

that is what photojournalism is all about.

"On the fly"

"spur of the moment"

"spontaneous"

"not posed"

"un-controlled chaos"

mostly....

smiles.

Carpe Diem...

indeed....

seize the day.

that is the attitude that suits 

a wedding day.

This bride

was/is a flight attendant with 

a major carrier.

In fact, 

the same airline that 

I had been a 

flight attendant for,

years earlier.

She was absolutely 

radient on the day of 

her wedding.....

She needed no 

encouragement.

She was stunning.

The dress she wore

 had been her mother's gown.

They took it to a seamstress

that apparently had magic fingers.

What resulted was 

a little girl's fantasy dress....

In this photo, they are following someone 

around the side of the church,

to another door,

after having just emerged as a married 

couple.

The smiles

were not prompted...

they didn't need to be....

smiles.

Sneaky moment...

sometimes...

the photographer

must 

be sneaky.....

It is the only way...

to catch

a 

sweet moment like this.

This bride was marrying

this flower girl's father.

It could have been a moment of 

sheer charged terror...

it wasn't.

They had a

couple of minutes

 just before they went up the stairs to the 

chapel for the ceremony.

It was just

 the right amount of time

 to say the last minute things

 that we all know need to be said.

things like;

"It will be alright."

"You look lovely"

"I am so proud of you"

"Let's go have fun!"

They did!

smiles.

Film Love...

I just love film....

I know it is not instant gratification....

that is part of what I love,

 the anticipation.

I also love the somewhat predictable nature of 

certain films...

A high speed B/W film will be grainy...

 this can be used to reflect a mood.

The photo above for example,

if it was shot in color,

you might be inclined

 to concentrate on the dress,

her hair,

the veil,

her gloves,

you get the picture

(no pun intended)

But in B/W, or sepia,

one tends to look at her face,

what is she thinking?

Is she scared,

nervous,

intense,

of simply

quiet by nature?

The good news is

that she was 

simply quiet,

from a family of three girls,

she was the youngest,

and accustomed  to allowing everyone around her 

to be the "whirling dervish".

She was calm as a cucumber,

 very much in love with the groom.

It was a splendid wedding,

easy to cover,

easy clients to please,

and 

the second daughter

 I had the privilege to 

photograph on her wedding day.

I know that I probably 

could have gotten the same look with digital,

I guess I am a bit 

nostalgic,

even though,

digital is admittedly easier.

What do you remember the most about your wedding?

smiles.

When in Italy....

take the opportunity to shoot brides

wherever possible...

This couple was being photographed 

(very adequately, I must say)

and I was on vacation.

But that dress caught my eye!

Look at the weight of the fabric! 

Look at the detail!

They were in the right spot,

and so was I!

I couldn't resist.

So happy,

so pleased with the day,

so ready for the future...

I think this may be one of the reasons that 

I adore weddings.

So much promise, hope and joy! 

Of course there are exceptions,

but for the most part I have 

had the privilege to shoot 

many weddings just as 

happy and special as the one above.

Rarely 

in

such

a 

wonderful

locale

though....

smiles.

Is bigger better?

I don't think so.....

necessarily.

This wedding took place in Asheville, NC

over 10 years ago.

It was a small, mostly family affair.

The Inn that hosted the wedding,

also took care of all the 

guests on this long sunny weekend.

The reception was a larger,

more formal function at the nearby

Grove Park Inn.

Everyone had traveled some distance to be there.

Some from as far away as Europe.

While small, it was very intimate,

filled with emotion, 

and sentimental.

This moment was just before

the guests were 

hustled into the room in which the wedding was to take 

place.

The bride wanted the groom to see her 

just before,

so that he would not be overwhelmed.....

and neither would she.....

It worked.

The wedding was beautiful.

the reception was grand...

and everyone kept their composure intact.

This is the moment that defined this day....

at least for me.

smiles.

Spring Love!

I love spring weddings!

This image always reminds me

of the nervousness 

that surrounds every wedding day.

Especially those last few minutes

 just before everyone starts down the aisle.

This was a spectacular day.

Bright late afternoon,

low humidity

(which is important here in the south)

The Gentlemen were 

stunningly stylish.

The late afternoon sun

was dipping low in the sky....

long shadows....very dramatic.

B/W images

help set the tone for the drama.

excitement,

nerves,

breathless,

hope.

Weddings

can 

bring a family together,

heal sore feelings,

mend old wounds,

or create new resentments,

break a family in two.

Yet,

if everyone 

spends their energies 

toward the goal of 

celebration of the 

beginning of a 

new family,

well.....

then 

it can be a 

very special moment in time.

smiles.

4 days to do nothing...

I had a great, no make that fabulous weekend. We drove up to The Homestead in Hot Springs Va. While David had much to do about nothing (in other words, work) I had nothing to do. Yeah! So I packed water colours, magazines and my journal. I sat on my rearend for almost 4 days straight. It was FAB. I sat on this porch and watched the world go by. I saw children, parents, brides, grooms, bellmen, waitresses, all sorts of people with all sorts of jobs. And there I sat.....did I say it was Fab? I haven't spent so much time doing nothing for years. I like it. No, I love it.
Think I'll do it some more.