How do we grieve?

Grieving....

Are we actually participating in the grieving when we do not feel especially sad?

When we are sort of grateful for the passing of someone......

whose life was swallowed up in pain?

Are we disrespectful of the memory when we are glad for the relief?

Who is the expert on grieving, anyway?

Someone who has lost a great abundance?

Who wakes up feeling empty?

Are there parameters for the grieving process?

I know that there are the recognized stages....

I am very familiar with that process, but this feels so different.

I am not sad, but actually thrilled for him. As he is no longer in a desperate mode.

He will no longer spend his energy, time, money and brain power trying to prove his significance to the ones he loves......He will no longer loose sleep over "perceived slights". He will no longer ache for the loving arms of the women he loved. He will know that there is freedom.

Freedom from the wheelchair...

Freedom from his thoughts....

Freedom from fear, haunting and subtle...

Freedom from gravity.

We will miss you Roger, but only for a short time.

We will see you in a new light someday...

Freedom.

Death......

Well, we just don't know do we?

We don't know when it will come.

David and I went over to a friend's house today to check on him.

No one had heard from him in days, and we wanted to just make sure...

Well, there he was, laying on the kitchen floor, having fallen from his wheelchair.

We saw him from the back window to his living room.

Snow on the ground, dog barking at the door,

too many newspapers on the front stoop, a call to 911,

police, medic, neighbors....

I heard the medic say he had been there for several days.

They assured us that it appeared to be "natural causes",

didn't feel very natural.....

Now we are at our home,

numb....

Poor guy, alone on the floor for days....

makes me sad.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success atsomething I hate.

George Burns(1896-1996, American Comedy Actor)

I am photgraphing SNOW, will post later....