Late people....(soapbox time!)

have no reason to live....

substitute "late people"
for
"Short people"....

Late people got no reason
Late people got no reason
Late people got no reason
To live

They got late little hands
Late little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big late lies
They got late noses
And tiny late teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty late feet

Well, I don't want no late people
Don't want no late people
Don't want no late people
`Round here

With apologies to Mr. Randy Newman...

I have been hummin' his tune all morning long...

only I have bastardized it, by the substitution...

I am attempting to deal with some feelings of anger....

resentment.....

offense taken...

oh forget that, I'm pisssed...

and

 there is absolutely nothing I can do,

but let it go....

But,

while I am good and worked up,

let me ask you what you think.....

Does it bother you when people are perpetually late?

Business associates,

friends,

relatives,

acquaintances,

strangers,

people that you are doing a favor for?

What is that all about, Alfie?

Lack of manners?

ignorance?

disrespect?

control?

attitude?

bad habits?

what?

My parents are exceptional people,

they taught me to 

"Be on time"

period....

anything less was a 

complete disregard for the other person's feelings.

Of course,

one cannot always be on time....

things happen...

That is why we have phones,

(and manners)

so that when we are faced with being late,

we pick up the phone,

call the person we are meeting,

and start with an apology,

and then something of an explanation...

unless, of course this is the regular state of events for us

in which case,

 our friends will have known not to expect us,

our employers will have fired us,

our customers will have taken their business elsewhere.

You get the picture.

Now,

lest you think me a 

"hard-ass" when it comes to time tables....

Let me tell you,

I struggle, really struggle to keep my appointments.

I mess up....

I forget to update my calendar...

I have had a watch actually quit working...

I have had car trouble...

I have lost my cell phone....

and

I have (occasionally) lost track of what day it was...

I am not perfect.

No siree.....not me....

but, I understand the importance of being on time,

and make my apologies asap.

I once worked for an airline,

where, if you were late more than say

ONCE!

You were fired.

Period.

No exceptions....

AND

 wait for it..

this was before anyone,

(including Bill Gates)

had a cell phone.

Really, there was a time.

(the 1980's)

So, if something extraordinary happened to you,

you had better get yourself to a land line quickly,

so that you could let then know.

You cannot imagine what it costs an airline to cancel a 

flight because a crew member doesn't show.

(lots!)

But honestly,

do you have a person in your life that you can

count on to be late?

all the time?

Almost like an attention getting device,

 they seem to like the drama that 

goes along with arriving with a "big apology" 

and a creative 

reason for the delay?

OR 

do they simply show up with no explanation at all?

Acting as though you owed them the wait?

OR

do you get the impression that they use this 

"device" as a way to put you off your guard,

put you on the defensive,

make you so freaking angry that you will jump 

at any chance for a pleasant interaction?

Have you ever confronted this person?

What was the result?

Did they change?

Is that too much to expect?

Do you alter the time you tell them to meet you so 

that you don't have to wait so long?

How do you cope with this?

Any and all suggestions will be taken into consideration....

In the meantime,

the view from up here on the soapbox is 

satisfying....

smiles.

One of my favorite places...

This is my kitchen window...

I love sitting here.

When my girlfriends come over,

we sit here,

drinking coffee,

or a Diet Coke,

or Sweet Tea.....

Mostly, we share...

share stories,

fears,

hopes,

sadness,

dreams....

This place is a bit elevated..

and the window is enormous,

just about 9 feet across.

We sit, talk, laugh, cry,

and occasionally

we simply watch the world go by....

I treasure my girlfriends.

These relationships

take nothing away from my

hubby,

or my parents,

or our children.

In fact,

the conversations that take place here

instill in me a huge gratitude

for my life,

just as it is....

Perspective...

that's what my girlfriends give me...

smiles.

Decisions......

At some point in every adult life we face a decision.....
Will we act in an ethical manner, or no...
Will we be willing to loose a friendship by telling the truth,
or will we slide back into the comfortable but dark disfunction of going along with the trend.....
The trend maybe to fudge the truth, like on one's taxes, or on one's background, or education in order to get what we want at the time.

It is always a slippery slope.

Now, I am realizing that choosing to do the "right thing" also entails pain.
Pain of loosing a friendship,
pain of being alone in the right,
sadness that a relationship was not what one imagined.
Pain of feeling lost in the growth,
for there is always growth.
Some refer to it as "peeling the onion".
I now know that the reason we cry when chopping an onion has something to do with
revealing the truth....

I have lost special people in my life thru my choosing not to participate in the lies.....
Not my lies, theirs....
I choose to live in reality, not denial.
For denial is a dangerous place for me to tread.
I fear going there.

Some days I feel particularly raw.
I feel worn out from the growth.
I no longer allow myself the luxury of denial.

Sometimes, I am just plain sad.
I am beginning to hate growth.