Let's just say....it changed my life....

09/11/01

No, I didn't loose anyone....

not in a personal connection sense
but I lost me....

It is very difficult to describe exactly

where I was at the time...

but it all started with the phone call...

just like everyone else who received a phone call

that morning....

I was ironing....

laundry was piled up on the couch...

hanging from the doorways....

tumbling in the dryer...

swishing in the washer...

and lying on the floor...

It was a day much like today.

I was mesmerised by what I saw....

I sat down on the couch and just stared at the TV...

mouth hanging open for quite awhile..

and then I broke the stare...

jumped up and called my parents...

They hadn't even turned on their TV...

they had no idea...

soon my dad was saying quietly...

"It'll come down.."

I didn't know what he meant at first,

but he is a Civil Engineer, so I knew it was

a "structural comment".

He said

"they both will come down soon..."

I could not absorb the enormity of what

he was saying.

But there they were.....falling....

both of them.

As they day unfolded...

TV quietly murmuring in the background...

I started to receive calls...

iron some more...

make calls....

iron...

And then,

a small seed started to grow

inside of me...

The seed of freedom.

I was thinking about what it means to

be an American, and I thought about my life.

I had been miserable for months...

maybe years.

I needed some relief...

but didn't know how....

This day eight years ago started a journey for me...

a journey that has brought me to this place of happiness.

Happiness like I have never felt in my life.

Can one be happy, grateful...

and terribly sad....

all at the same time?