What price serenity?

Well, this is the time of the year when most of us think about

the events of the preceding year,

their implications and ramifications.

I have spent so much of my life "worrying".

I have dwelled on the unimportant,

the silly, the unexplained, the misunderstood,

the fear......

I am trying very hard to ignore my impulses to

engage in the melancholy.

I am choosing to let it all go....

I am going to look forward to the New Year with

anticipation, as opposed to trepidation.

I don't need to understand it all.

I don't need to "fix" it all...

and most importantly, I don't need for everyone to like

or respect me....

I need to respect myself.

And this means that I don't need to compromise my ideals, values,

ethics, my life.....

I can take a stand, and if it is lonely, it is alright,

because I believe that there are others who feel the same loneliness,

and will understand.

Gratitude....

On this seemingly most American of holidays, I am grateful for many things....
I am grateful for the friends that picked me up out of the hole of despair I had fallen into during my divorce in 2002. They not only held me up, propped me up, cheered me up and boosted me up, they also encouraged me to save my money for a trip to Italy. Then, after many months of saving and planning, we went the first week of March 2003 (the same week the war in Iraq started).
This photo was taken in a small town on the Amalfi Coast, I could guess which, but I have no real recollection. I it is interesting to me as it is a photo of a father and daughter eating their lunch on the front steps of a building used as a Post Office. It reminds me of my observations that Italy, while a thriving country is still in many ways not quite in the 21st century. It is quieter and more easy-going than America, at least on the surface.
Back to us....
We are so very fortunate.
We have reliable electricity, food, water, and security on a level unknown in other parts of the world.
And, in many ways we are spoiled.
We take these things for granted.
These days we are starting to feel a bit of a pinch.
We are worried about where our 401k's are going.
It seems that we forget how very lucky we are.
I believe that everything will be alright.
God's in charge.

And they call it Fall....

Well, it hardly sounds spectacular enough.....
The trees!
How absolutely incredible that they put on this display just before their long winter nap.
Brilliant is what they ought to call this time of year.
This tree is so much more, in the flesh, so to speak.
So much more yellow, orange and aflame.
Went on a little photo safari with my pop this morning and this was what he wanted to show me.
Perfect.

I am blessed....

Well, to tell you the truth, I am more than blessed. I have the distinct pleasure and privilege to photograph wonderful people. And, I am amazed that God saw fit for me to be able to do this for a living.

Seems like a very long month.....

We have been shocked,

We have been sad,

We have been inspired,

We have been exhausted,

We have been rejuvenated....

We are moving...

Unexpected for sure,

worrying, yes,

but exciting too.

When the company that you have worked for 35 years

closes......

What do you do?

Grieve.

There is so much change going on around me that I can hardly

breathe....

But....

I believe

that there is something

Wonderful on the horizon, if only we will

walk in the right direction,

and be willing to see things differently.

BREATHE......

Big breath...

whew...

I am hopeful.

I am tired,

I am hopeful.

breathe...

Long ago and far away....

It seems like a million years ago.

But in reality it was only 25 years or so...

We were young, making money, spending it,

traveling, carefree....

We had no children,

we had few bills....

We were young, foolish and happy...

We visited St. Augustine, Fl.

And....

We moved on.

We got "real" jobs,

made tons of money,

bought homes,

had children,

got involved in PTA's,

made Kool-aid, cookies, after school snacks,

cup cakes, birthday cakes, patty cakes,

We nursed sick children,

helped them with homework,

got them off to college,

and now we are re-connecting to the

carefree people that we once were.

trouble is.....not everyone wants to

reconnect....

We can't always understand why friends want to

forget.

Did we do something they can't forgive?

Were we not there for them when they needed us?

Or

are there other memories that they simply cannot tolerate,

that by simply being with us they cannot ignore?

It is so strange.

So hard to fathom...

We may never know the reasons.

Maybe we aren't meant to....

Lavender......

Lavender is the smell of serenity.......
I am addicted to the waves of heady sweetness that emanate from my wardrobe drawers as I open them to put away clean laundry. I find myself unable to resist the cheap hit of lavender found at the "dollar store" in the soap aisle. I scarf up as many of the small boxes of Yardley lavender soap as a basket will accommodate, run home and hide them all in various secret places so that the whole house will have a faint aroma.....
When we traveled to rural Canada last year we visited a lavender farm.
The tour guide remarked that when the harvest came in, everyone on the job would become very "laded back" from working in a constant state of serenity.
That's where I want to work,
next time around.....
Smiles!